Mistakes
by ms17thst
Summary: We all make them but how do our favorite WH Agents deal with making them. And the one who struggles the most is Myka ... but why?
1. Myka's Mistake

Please note - this one time fic comes from a challenge by Ariel Hedgehog to **'think outside the box'** of my usual stories.  
Not fluff ... and the rating could be NC 17 (she suggested). Not the typical story line so not sure I have done her  
challenge justice. Will make it one shot unless comments indicate otherwise.  
No dialogue - which is really not my style! But I'm quite familiar with the story's theme of mistakes.

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**Chapter One Myka's Mistake**

Myka put her head in her hands as she sat on the bench in the garden outside. The cool breeze that enveloped her should have been a welcomed relief from the heat but she sat there immune to it. Her mind was on the task ahead. She had postponed it as long as she could and now there was little time left. She rose having to walk only several yards to the back door of the B&B – and yet as she made her way back, time seemed to come to a crawl. It took everything she had – every ounce of strength and discipline that was within her to keep going. She dreaded what she was about to act on - because breaking the heart of the one person who cared so much about her was about the hardest thing she ever had to do. But Myka's mind was made up after hours of agonizing soul searching and beating herself up. After each of these sessions, she was left with the same conclusion; she had to tell Helena that they could no longer be together. It simply had to be done.

She walked into the living room and the sight of Helena made the pain rise in her chest. Myka knew HG had no idea this was coming and she detested that the knowledge of what was about to happen was locked up inside of her. And now when her mouth formed the words, the secret would be released and slam into her friend like shards of glass. She could tell by HG's expression that she was in a different place than she was. Helena was happy because she was still under the impression that their relationship was working. Myka was about to suck the light out of Helena's world and she hated herself for it. But it simply had to be done.

Helena gazed at Myka and knew instantly that something was wrong. She had anticipated that Myka's mood would still be gloomy. Helena also knew that Myka took it hard when Artie reprimanded her not only because it was rare, but because this time everyone knew he was right. There would be no support coming from her fellow agents in the form of the usual consensus that Artie was too hard. No, this time everyone knew Myka had made a mistake. Helena decided that she would simply allow Myka some space while she licked her wounds but would be right there for when she was ready to be comforted. If there was one emotion Helena was familiar with it was grieving and Myka would have to grieve this loss – the loss of her self- image as the agent who rarely made mistakes. She was human and she had made an error and the sooner she accepted that, the better for her it would be Helena thought. It simply had to be done.

Helena sat on the couch and waited for Myka to sit next to her. She would listen and comfort but only when Myka was ready. So when the first thing out of Myka's mouth was that they needed to talk, Helena was glad that Myka was already willing to open up and share her thoughts. This misperception is why Helena was so blindsided by Myka's announcement that she had given it a great deal of thought and decided that things were over between them. Helena tilted her head for a second to make sure she heard her correctly. She blinked more than usual as her heart felt the brunt force of the words. She shook her head involuntarily because her body knew before she did - that it may not be able to fend off all the reactions that were about to take place. When she questioned it - out of surprise, Myka's tone became severer and it was that sharpness of her words that cut Helena open and the pain surged throughout.

Helena tried to explain it away and told Myka she was simply reacting to what had happened but Myka had the advantage of thinking this through already. She had an answer for each of Helena's protests and her words boxed Helena in. When reason failed, Helena grabbed for the next emotion and anger took over. She recoiled and told her partner she was being ridiculous, that she was punishing her because she made a mistake. Why should their relationship suffer the consequences for an error that Myka made on the job? Was her job more important to her than their connection?

But Myka had answers for those questions, too. Of course her relationship was more important. For a second Helena's heart rebounded in hope. The harshness of Myka's next thought took that hope away. After what had just happened, she could not work with Helena anymore if they were lovers. Helena's mind raced with thoughts, looking for solutions to the dilemma that Myka had just thrown at her. But each time Helena tried to relieve them both of the weight of Myka's perceptions; she simply pulled in more terrible thoughts. It wouldn't work, Myka explained, because she had lost her confidence in being a good agent. After what had transpired, she knew that the relationship would always be first and that fact jeopardized everything. She had just proven it to herself and to everyone. She would put Helena first even when it meant sacrificing another agent. No one would trust her after that.

Myka knew the protocol. It had been drilled into her just like every other rule of engagement. She graduated top of her class at the academy because not only was every rule imprinted in her brain, she understood the procedures, agreed with them and believed in them. Myka prided herself on following those rules because she knew they saved lives. She wasn't above improvising – the hallmark of the crème de la crème agents, but what she did was not improvisation. It was panic. And that was as dangerous in an agent as an unloaded weapon and they all knew it.

Myka put it as plainly as she could; they could be friends and coworkers but not lovers. Even as she said those words, Myka had little faith in them. How could she work with Helena? Her heart would ache mercilessly every day not to be able to be with her. But she was ready to make that sacrifice because she would be useless as an agent otherwise. And if she gave up being an agent, she would be leaving in failure and Myka simply could not do that. She knew Helena would not ask her to do that.

Helena was not going to acquiesce.

She would leave the Warehouse, resign as an agent. But even that Myka had considered and countered with the question of where would she go, what would she do. It didn't matter to Helena. She would tell the Regents immediately and then they could be together. But Myka seemed unwavering. That wouldn't work. It would always be between them like a wound that would not heal. Helena vehemently disagreed and grew more and more frustrated. It was not like Myka to be so close minded. It was not like her to make a decision that affected both of them without talking to Helena first. She had never known Myka to be so impermeable to logic. She just wanted to hit her.

If she didn't know better, Helena would have bet there was an artifact at work but when she suggested that, Myka's sadness grew on her face. There was only one explanation and it was already out there. Myka reiterated that she had thought long and hard about this and there simply was no other solution. Helena's refusal to accept that, Myka pointed out would only make things worse. Helena was stunned. She knew she had to do something because she could feel Myka slipping away as they spoke.

Two things motivated Helena in those heated moments; she was going to fight for Myka and – and - she never failed at anything she set her mind to. She may have been thrown but she would not stay down. She tried logic and it failed. She pleaded and it had fallen on deaf ears. She had one more thing she could do. She lowered her head as if defeated.

She did understand what Myka was saying and what the impetus had been. Myka excelled at being an agent and prided herself tremendously in her work. She took every failure, no matter how small or how few, to heart. But the other day, as soon as Myka turned her attention to her instead of watching the suspect, Helena knew it was a mistake. '_A rookie mistake'_ Artie had shouted at her and Helena saw the pain of those words in Myka's eyes. Helena wanted to take the blame but Artie denied her even sharing in it. He lashed out at both of them by saying it was something he expected from Helena but never, never Myka. And Myka knew he was right. She lost focus because the one she loved was in danger. Had Helena been just her fellow agent, Myka would have relied on her instincts and pursued the suspect after checking on her partner. But her partner was bloodied from a blow to the head and was lying there. Even as Helena assured her she was ok, Myka held onto her as blood gushed from the wound.

Myka knew in every fiber of her being what the procedure was and failed to follow it. Now Pete was in the hospital with a bullet wound because Myka let the armed suspect get out of her grasp. She could have easily subdued him and then come back to Helena. It had been a superficial wound; now all that remained was a small bandage. But that wasn't how she did it. She was covered in Helena's blood when Pete came from the back of the building and was shot. The whole incident was a matter of seconds and feet – both of which Myka had allowed to escape with disastrous results.

Helena was on autopilot. She announced she would try to understand but the Myka had to give her time. Myka refused. A clean break was better she decided and it was to be that way. Helena's frustration grew by the seconds. She was familiar with this scene but had never been on the receiving end before. All she needed was one second of Myka letting down her guard, one bloody second. She picked her head up and looked straight into those green eyes that were clouded in spite of the stare. She allowed her own eyes to fill with the tears she was holding back - just a little and there it was.

Myka hesitated for a fraction of a second but Helena was ready for it. She leaned in and grabbed Myka's mouth with hers to muffle the inevitable protests. She wouldn't listen to them. She pushed down hard on Myka's mouth and refused to give in to the pushing back she felt. She held Myka's shoulders down and waited for any sign of physical protest waning. The longer her tongue invaded Myka's mouth – pushing at her, the slower the protest got. Myka's verbal attempts were lost in the sensation of Helena's tongue sliding over her lips and she screamed to herself to stop this before it went too far. But too far came quicker than Myka planned and it came when Helena pushed her back on the couch and straddled her body. Helena sat back up and in that moment when Myka was going to fight back - she heard the sound of material ripping and was released of her blouse. She was angry and excited in the same span of time but her agenda was foremost in her mind. _This was wrong_. She had already given into her feelings where Helena was concerned and it had been a terrible mistake. This was a giant step backwards and it had been a painful trip forward. This would only make it worse. She put her hands on Helena's wrists and didn't mean to squeeze them so tightly but wanted her to stop. She could feel the pulse in those wrists quicken and Helena's breathing became loud. There was nothing calm in those eyes as Helena twisted her hands and grabbed Myka's wrists back. _Damn, she was fast_. She pushed Myka's hands above her head and bent down alongside her ear. You will give me this she told; no warned Myka and again Myka could not discern if she was angry or excited or both. Her emotions were coming at her so quickly she could not separate them.

In spite of everything Myka did to prepare herself for this, she blinked and that was all the time Helena needed. The experienced woman held Myka down and allowed her mouth to devour her in kisses. Not the gentle kind that was so often the case but frantic bites that stung a little. Her neck, her breasts now exposed and her skin were all betraying Myka as they responded to Helena's touch and surrendered as they had done so many times before. Helena's determination was frenzied now as she released Myka's hands so she could continue releasing her from her clothes. She pulled at her belt, grabbed at her pants and stood up only momentarily as she removed her own clothes. Then Helena returned to her dominant position over Myka and kissed her more slowly this time.

She moved down Myka's body tasting her skin and making sure Myka felt her marks. Myka had stopped protesting but Helena was not letting up. She had been pushed over the edge and she was going to come back with a vengeance. Myka's body belied her agenda and continued to ooze surrender and encouraged Helena by offering her definite signs as rewards. Helena's hand slipped downward and slowly cupped Myka. The slightest pressure made Myka's breath quicken and Helena's eyes burned with satisfaction. Myka was not lost. She still had a hold on her and she was going to use it. As excitement and tensions grew inside of Myka, Helena's anger spread and her touch was rough as she pulled at Myka. She slipped into Myka's wetness and slowly pushed her up and up until her name came in gasps from Myka's mouth.

She had reclaimed what was hers.

The momentarily release for Myka subsided and she feared what would follow. Would it be feelings of defeat or failure at trying to right this wrong? But it was neither. It was the overwhelming feeling that something was bigger than she was. That she didn't have all the answers and that the one she had tried, had not worked. She didn't realize it yet but she had picked the solution that would punish herself the most. And Myka wanted to be punished for her mistakes. It was the only way to feel whole again – to make up to Pete and Artie and everyone for what she had done. Myka had always been hard on herself and everyone had always let her be. All her life, people got out of her way when she acted tough and when they did; she was left to be both judge and jury and both were merciless. Only one person refused to play by those rules. And she was breathing furiously over her right now. Not in victory but on guard and Myka knew Helena would refuse to be blindsided twice. Her eyes were dark and Myka sensed she was in a place Myka had not seen her in before. It would take a lot to bring her back.

Myka reached up and Helena flinched because her muscles would not relax. Helena had cardinal rules, too and one of them was never, ever be fooled twice. Softness would not work here and Myka knew it. Helena would not relinquish her position, it had to be taken. Myka grabbed Helena by her thighs that were either side of her own stomach. She pushed her hands all the way up until they reached the top of her legs. She let her intentions be known and in case there was any doubt, she announced it to Helena. She challenged her in spite of the fact that she was in the lower position. She reached up and grabbed Helena's hands and pulled them down hard. She thought she was playing Helena's game but really what was motivating her was the urgency that filled every fiber of her soul to have Helena. She seized Helena's head and kissed her harder than she had ever touched her before. She ran her hands down her back until she pressed her lower and lower onto herself. Then she raised herself up and Helena followed, falling backwards until Myka could release her hold and lay next to her. Her hands worked at massaging Helena's muscles and finally, they relaxed. Giving in now would be a higher hurdle for Helena to climb, but once Myka's fingers invaded her and gently stroked her, teasing her with their touch, she relinquished wholeheartedly. Myka didn't dare leave Helena's side and put her own leg over Helena's to maintain a hold on her. Her hand brought Helena the release that she begged for, almost cried for but only after weakening her resistance completely. Just in case.

Myka lay next to Helena with her head on her chest. She had been certain an hour ago that she had made the right decision and now she had been gloriously defeated. Only Helena would not accept her decision to punish herself. She would have to find another way to make retribution for her mistake because giving up Helena was not going to be it.

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As always, I appreciate your feedback/comments as I know they take time.


	2. Claudia's Mistake

Thank you to everyone who commented and said they thought this should continue.  
Please remember - this is a different style than my other stories so I'm way out of my comfort zone.  
That could have unpleasant results - as I had no plot/story line in mind before taking on the challenge.

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**Chapter Two Claudia's Mistake**

Claudia made it a practice never to take sides when there were disputes in the Warehouse. Oh, occasionally she would gang up on Pete if Myka was teasing him or defend HG if Artie was going overboard but for the most part, she tried to stay neutral. Not because she didn't care but because she felt it befitted her as the most junior member of the team. She realized a long time ago that she had a lot to learn and each of her fellow agents could teach her different things. Myka taught her the very meaning of being a good agent; dedicated, trustworthy, honest and brave. There was so much about Myka that Claudia admired that there were times when she felt Myka was the standard she would never measure up to. And yet the older woman never made her feel that way. When she went on field work with Myka, she treated Claudia as an equal. She gave her advice but she let her do things the best way she saw fit. Sometimes it made Claudia nervous to be treated as an adult because she worried about the responsibility if she failed. Myka told her they all made mistakes and that the secret to being a good agent was to learn from them. Claudia thought that sounded good until she saw Myka have to swallow her own words. She wasn't sure Myka was going to be so easy on herself and it worried her to think what would happen. The last time Myka held herself accountable for something that went so badly, she left the Warehouse. Claudia didn't admit it to anyone, but she cried for days after that. She missed Myka terribly. And she never trusted that Myka wouldn't do it again. So she kept a close eye on Myka just in case she was bolting after this fiasco. Claudia was not going to be blindsided by that twice.

Of all the people in the Warehouse, Claudia had the most mixed feelings about Helena. She admired her immensely but at times was terribly intimidated by her. She felt the closest connection with HG when it came to her own uncanny technical abilities and felt no one appreciated her talents more. But there were other times when the Brit's vocabulary and worldliness simply went over her head. She tried to keep up but sometimes she just had to ask HG _what in the frak_ she was talking about. Helena was always patient and never talked down to Claudia. She always encouraged her to go back to school so that ultimately she could be an official member of the Secret Service. Sometimes she was jealous of Helena. Not because of her mind or because she was after all, the great HG Wells, but because Helena always seemed to be so self-assured. Artie didn't intimidate her and she hardly flinched when Mrs. Frederic was upset. Except the other day when both of them blew gaskets over the shooting. Claudia noticed that HG didn't look so confident then.

Pete was more than a big brother to her. He was different from her real life brother whom she admired greatly. She may not have been able to verbalize it but Claudia connected to the childlike part of Pete in a big way. Her own childhood was cut short by family issues and circumstances and she had to grow up too fast in order to survive. Plus, he embodied the protector she never had. When you grow up without your parents doing a good job at that, you tend to become hard shelled in order to protect yourself. It's a defense mechanism that Claudia developed in order to endure. Pete pushed right past it as soon as he met her and gladly took on the role of defender. He was the first one to stand up for her when Artie went nuts over some little tweaking she may have done to the software or when she played a joke and Artie saw it as '_down time we can't afford'_ in a week when there hadn't been a single ping. But the thing that worried Claudia the most about Pete was his seemingly inability to follow conventions. He relied on Myka to know the rules and regulations while he relied on his 'vibes'. Claudia had seen too many demonstrations of just how good his _vibe-ability_ was to doubt it.

_Where the hell was that when he was walking into that building and got shot? _

Claudia had the pleasure of seeing Artie upset in all his variations. Like the sixty-four box of colored crayons, she had witnessed him from the pale blue shades of annoyance to the deep red shades of freaking out anger. She was the one who came up with the official '_Artie Index'_. It was a scale from one to ten that they agents used to indicate how upset he was on any given day. She herself had caused him to slide from a mildly perturbed state of 1 to the one in which the veins popped out in his neck which they all agreed was a 5. HG usually pushed him there the quickest and she held the title of '_agent who pushed Artie to ten the most tim_es'. Before HG's arrival, Myka's top score was a 4. He seemed to sense that his expression of anger would be too much for Myka and he tended to take deep breaths before he had something harsh to say to her. Claudia had a deep discussion with Leena one day and they decided that Artie had reached a full 8 when he found out that Myka had written a report that helped get HG reinstated. Even after he apologized, which took some time because he was really upset, Myka took it to heart.

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There were no discernible deep breaths when he came into the room where they were all sitting at the hospital. Claudia could feel the anger emanate off him and was never so grateful to be in a hospital in case he had a heart attack. She was so busy watching Artie's face turn the reddest shade she had ever seen, that it took her a minute to realize Myka had fallen back into the chair from the emotional explosion. He had asked Claudia on the phone what happened. It was the first time she was relaying back what transpired at the building. She told him that she and Pete waited the five minutes that Myka had said to wait. They had seen the suspect go in the front and had agreed that flushing him out was the way to go. She told Artie that Pete wanted her to stay in the car but that she got out seconds later and followed behind him. Pete was telling her to go back when they heard a shot inside. They rushed through the back door, Pete with his gun drawn and she with the Tesla. But seconds later, the gunman was rushing at them and Pete was shot. Yes she heard the gun go off but didn't see the guy or the gun he was holding. The next thing she knew, Pete had fallen on top of her and the guy had run out the back. Artie had forced her to think of every detail she could while it was still fresh in her mind. Claudia tried but all she could think about was Pete. When Artie asked where was Myka, the image of her just sitting there holding onto HG flashed in her mind. She told him that Myka was in the second room in the building. She explained that when she got out from under Pete, she rushed in to see where Myka was and that's when she found them.

He turned to Myka who had not picked her head up from her hands as Claudia spoke. He told, no ordered, HG to go with Claudia to check on Pete while he spoke to Myka. Claudia saw HG hesitate but Artie was all over her. He warned Helena not to make things worse for Myka and the last thing they both heard before they closed the door was his insulting summation that she had made a '_rookie mistake'. _Claudia put her hand on Helena's arm to prevent her from going back in because even she knew it was not a good idea. They went to Pete's room.

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Claudia was used to holding in her feelings and hiding what was really going on inside her but when she saw Pete in that bed, hooked up to machines and IV and the thick bandages around his leg, she lost it. She turned to HG and dissolved into the Brit's chest. Helena grabbed her immediately and held onto her. She patted her back and whispered '_he's going to be ok'_. Claudia admonished herself for not being stronger but stayed in HG's grasp just a little longer until she was sure she wouldn't cry. Pete was out like a light having just come out of surgery. Claudia looked down at him and the pain griped at her. Pete was the strongest man she knew. As much as she teased him about working out too much, she admired how he took care of himself. When they went into that building that night, he was ahead of her and when he fell backwards, it felt like a ton of bricks caved in on her. Artie said he saved her life because they surmised the suspect never saw her there or he may have shot her, too. Now those broad shoulders rose and fell as Pete breathed peacefully in his post-op induced slumber.

She could still hear him calling frantically for Myka because he had feared the worst. There was only one way that 9 millimeter gunman got past Myka he told Claudia as he grimaced in pain and grabbed for his phone. _He must have shot her_. His words panicked Claudia who was now covered in his blood. He told her to go find Myka but what he meant was Myka's body because he was certain she lay unconscious or worse. Claudia ran into the other room only to be relieved to see Myka alive. But something was wrong. Myka was bent over, holding HG in her arms and there was blood everywhere. Helena had passed out after telling Myka she was okay. But even that assurance did not make Myka let go of her lifeless body. Claudia heard Pete struggle behind her. He had forced himself to get up because he was certain Myka lay wounded in the next room. Claudia would never forget the expression of confusion on his face when he saw her there very much alive and holding onto HG. Helena was not supposed to be there. She was supposed to be down the block acting as lookout. Now she lay there wounded from the bullet that grazed her head. Myka didn't even ask about Pete or the second gunshot. She simply held onto to Helena, frozen. Claudia tried to take in the whole picture. But Pete collapsed behind her and she struggled to hold him up. The best she could do was to help him slide down the doorway.

_Why hadn't Myka rushed to help her? _

Claudia was so surprised by this that it was one of the first things she blurted out to Artie. '_She just sat there_' is what she said to him on the phone, more out of shock than judgment. But Artie was doing enough judging for all of them. He met them at the hospital and when he asked Myka what happened, Claudia could see he could not fathom that Myka had not followed protocol. He had just heard how Myka let the gunman get passed her after he shot at them.

Standing in Pete's room now, she told HG she made a mistake in telling Artie that but HG assured her it would all come out in the reports okay. She didn't lie but she felt as if she had just betrayed her best friend. HG assured her she was doing what was expected and that it would be alright. But Claudia saw the doubt in Helena's eyes and that was a rare event.

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The days after the shooting were intense. Both Artie and Mrs. Frederic talked to Claudia about what happened. They made her write an official report. Why hadn't she listened to Pete and stayed in the car? She could only say that she acted on instinct. They didn't say anything; they just kept writing notes. She could hear Artie and Mrs. Frederic in the room with Myka and Helena and there was a lot of shouting going on. The only voice she didn't hear was Myka's. They finally expelled Helena from the room and she slammed the door so loudly on the way out that Claudia jumped out of her seat. She had never heard the Brit use the phrase '_bloody hell'_ as every part of speech. By the time the meeting was over, Myka looked a whiter shade of her usual pale and left the Warehouse with Mrs. Frederic. HG went to follow but Artie, brave soul that he was, prevented her. He told HG she couldn't fix this and his tone wasn't mean, just sad.

Claudia couldn't sleep that night she was so worried about Myka. She didn't come out of her room and HG wasn't even allowed in. Pete was much improved though and that cheered Claudia up. The day before he was to come home, Claudia went back to the B&B early to get his room ready. She was glad to see Myka there but after saying hello, she pushed past Claudia and ran up the stairs. Myka seemed in good spirits but a little disheveled. Helena came out of the living room next and Claudia was taken by the expression on her face as she pushed back her hair. It was a mixture of satisfaction and victory – the most content she had seen the Brit in days.

She asked her if Myka was ok and was puzzled when HG told her that Myka was - '_better than okay, much better indeed_.'

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Appreciate you taking the time to comment and post.


	3. Artie's Mistake

**Chapter Three Artie's Mistake**

Pete understood the mission perfectly. In spite of being accused of having a short attention span, he in fact listened to every detail. HG was the lookout down the block. Artie was back at the Warehouse with a 3-D schematic on the computer. Claudia and HG had designed this software that could take blue prints and turn it into the dimensions of the building. Unfortunately, Artie made an error in providing Claudia the drawings and she uploaded an outdated plan of the building. So when he told the agents there were two large rooms inside on the first floor, in fact there were three. He didn't realize it until they were already at the location.

Artie had balked at putting everyone's cell numbers into his phone on speed dial. He knew he would never remember them in an emergency and he was right. But Claudia had shown him how quickly he could press the numbers on speed dial and get to anyone of his agents. But when he put the phone too close to the spectrometer in the Warehouse, the energy zapped his phone of all the data. All three songs in his Rhapsody file were lost. What he didn't realize was that the speed dial numbers were also wiped clean. Which is why when he went to call Myka, he heard nothing. Time was of the essence and he called the first number that came to him. He was as surprised as anyone when HG answered. He would have asked what the hell she was doing with Myka's phone but he had to update them about the rooms. He told HG there were three rooms, not two just was she caught sight of the suspect go inside. She could see Myka texting and figured she was telling Pete the plan. She had to tell her there was an additional room. She hung up on Artie and proceeded to go in the building from the side.

She never did get a chance to tell Myka about the floor plan error. Myka was already inside and it was very dark with the only light coming from a low wattage bulb somewhere on the other side. HG moved around slowly, squinting to make her way through the room and listen. She could hear footsteps and drew her gun. She heard Myka yell to the suspect to stop and the next thing HG saw was the bright light of the explosion of the gun. The sound was deafening and she expected to hear the sound of the suspect falling. But all she heard was someone running, as the pain rose from the slice she felt in her forehead. He had shot her. Later she would think back and would not remember actually falling to the ground. The next sensation she felt was lying across Myka's lap and being held in her arms. Over and over again, Myka asked her if she was okay. She could feel the slow oozing of the warm liquid seeping down her face and could tell Myka's hands were covered in it as she tried to push the hair out of the way. She pulled her into her chest and HG felt like a ragdoll, lifeless and helpless. She told Myka she was okay because the pain was localized and she could tell it was not a full impact but a grazing. But Myka wouldn't move and even though HG knew she should be leaving her, she wouldn't. Finally, sleep came to Helena and she went unconscious.

The first person to inform Artie of what happened was Pete. He called from his cell after he was shot. He told Artie he was hit and worried that the first shot may have been for Myka. Artie told him that there were in fact three rooms, and now Pete worried that he had sent Claudia in to check on Myka. He got himself up and stumbled to find them. The next person to speak to Artie was Claudia. The ambulance was there and paramedics were taking HG and Pete to the hospital. The police said they would take Myka in their car and Claudia called Artie from the SUV. She told him what happened as best she could. But she kept saying how Myka just sat there, didn't move and Artie couldn't imagine it.

Mrs. Frederic noticed that when Artie was upset with himself, he tended to yell at the other person he was upset with even louder. He met them at the hospital. He was so angry with them and himself. How could this have happened? He told Claudia and HG to go to Pete's room and only Helena had the nerve to hesitate. He did not want to deal with her and was grateful Claudia put her hand on HG's arm to take her with her. He didn't mean to blurt out '_rookie mistake'_ but it was and he could no longer hold back. He was scared and angry and had he taken the time to sort things out, he would have realized he was angry at himself for his part.

Two weeks before this incident, the Regents had told Artie that they were concerned about some of the sloppy work they saw coming from the agents. He vehemently defended them. In Artie's world, it was okay for him to assess them negatively but no one else could do that. He assured them they were on top of things and that their so called sloppiness was due to being overworked and not having the right tools. The 3-D software was delivered the next day.

Of all the things that could have gone wrong, the agents getting shot was the worst. Even Helena's flesh wound upset him. Thankfully, Pete's wound was not severe and he would be up and around in no time. But actions had to be taken. Reports had to be filled out and further interviews would have to be conducted.

The following day, Artie and Mrs. Frederic interviewed Claudia first. Then Myka and HG went in and the shouting began. He knew Helena would defend Myka, try to take the blame herself, but there was plenty to go around. By the time Helena interrupted him for the umpteenth time, he looked at Mrs. Frederic who was sharing in his frustration, and they made her leave the room. Neither of them missed the door being slammed. God, that woman was insufferable. They talked to Myka and got her take on the incident. Neither of them doubted Myka's remorse for the chain of events. And Myka made the process easier by accepting her share of the blame. They talked afterwards and both agreed that HG and Myka should not work together just yet.

They understood that shooting your partner in the head could take an emotional toll on an agent and they would have to watch Myka very closely now.


	4. Pete's Mistake

Thanks to everyone who followed this - in spite of the circuitous format.  
Will be back to dialogue next time round.

* * *

**Chapter Four Pete's Mistake**

Pete woke up groggy from the anesthesia. He was glad to see Claudia and HG there. He immediately asked where Myka was and they made excuses that she was outside with Artie going over everything. His vibe told him something was up, working apparently even when the rest of him was drugged. He grimaced when he tried to move and Claudia was the first to tell him to stay put. But he insisted on seeing Myka and HG figured she better go get her.

He asked Claudia if Myka was okay and he saw right through the lie. He tried to assure Claudia that it would all work out. Then he wanted to know how bad Helena's head was and Claudia said that she hadn't complained about it. He then tried to take top honors in the most blood shed that day to take the edge off the tension in the room but even that didn't get Claudia to loosen up. What the hell was going on?

Pete was at the back of the building, waiting for Myka's signal in the form of a text. He didn't want Claudia to follow him but there she was, seconds later, not listening to him. He walked inside after hearing the gunshot. He pushed Claudia behind him, with his gun drawn. The room was very dark and he thought the sound of the commotion seemed further away than the next room. He could hear Myka in distress and moved quickly to the door. But he startled the gunman who was waiting in the middle room. He burst through and shot Pete in the leg. Pete fell backwards and was convinced that there was no one else in the room, the gunman fled out the back.

Pete felt the searing pain in his thigh. He felt the awkward landing on top of Claudia. He tried to roll over to get off her. There was only one way that guy got past Myka and he feared she had been shot first. He told Claudia through clenched teeth to go to Myka. Then he realized there was no sound from the other room and panicked that he had sent Claudia into a trap. He dragged himself up and came in behind her. They both looked at Myka who thankfully seemed uninjured but it was hard to see. What he did see was HG lifeless in her arms. He couldn't make much else out except that Myka seemed motionless. How did HG get there? How did Myka let the suspect get away? He tried to answer these questions himself but the pain was too great and eventually, he slipped down the wall and into a deep sleep.

When he awoke in the hospital bed, there was only a blonde nurse who was tending to his care. He tried to smile but he had the feeling that nothing on his face was actually moving. She assured him he was okay and the he should rest and he thought if only she would stroke his face, he would go back right away. Where was Myka he thought right before he drifted off?

The sight of his friends was a welcomed one although he did look around for the nurse, too. Claudia's suggestion that they should have Nurse Brown come was met by protests. Both HG and Pete adored the woman who worked with Dr. Calder and who had taken care of Helena when she was recovering from a gunshot wound last year. But Pete didn't mind the nurse on duty and HG simply did not want anyone making a fuss.

Now Helena was back in the room with Myka and Artie - explaining that Pete was insisting on seeing her. Myka kept repeating that she could not face him but Artie told her that she owed it to Pete. Myka just wanted to go home and crawl into the corner of her closet but she rose and went with HG. Helena held onto to Myka and if she didn't feel so bad about going into Pete's room, she would have drowned in the guilt of having the woman she shot help her.

'_He wants to see you,_' was all Helena said because she needed Myka to pull herself together before she went in. Seeing Pete in the bed, broad smile and arms stretched out to her made Myka melt instantly. She hugged him and bit her lip till she drew blood to hold back on the emotions. Pete finally got how hard Myka was taking this. '_You listen to me_,' he told her and she had never seen his eyes look so hard on her. He warned her that she was not doing anyone any good if she blamed herself. Whatever strength he had he put into his hands as he grabbed ahold of her forearms. He reminded her that she was the best agent there was and that she didn't cause this. They didn't know about the middle room. They didn't know HG was in the building because Artie called her instead of Myka. The suspect knew the building and had the advantage. Myka didn't know HG was there and when she saw someone draw their gun, she did what an agent would do. And besides, he reminded her, HG had the thickest skull of the group. Helena didn't even take offense because she knew it to be true.

Pete's words were of some comfort to Myka. She was at least glad that he would be okay. She pushed aside the guilt long enough to stay with him. He tired easily and what little strength he had left, he wanted to save for when the blonde nurse returned. She did come back in several times, but Pete was in a restful sleep each time she did.

He was released from the hospital less than 48 hours after the incident. He didn't want to be the invalid and protested about using the crutches but Doctor Calder insisted. Once he found out he could poke people at distance or grab things with them, he became more compliant. He was going to be spending a great deal of time on the couch and no one denied him full access to the remote. It almost made getting shot worth it. He did complain to HG that he wished they had the all access cable and she set out to make it happen. It might have been his only mistake in all of this.

He loved that his friends were making such a fuss and that Artie had such a civilized tone when he spoke. Pete warned him not to be hard on Myka and Artie said he would be fair. '_She's not perfect_,' Pete said and it wasn't a crack against Myka but more of reminder that Artie idealized her sometimes. He sat there hoping that Myka could eventually forgive herself. Pulling the gun on someone is never and easy decision. But protocol says – you warn them to drop the gun and if they don't, don't hesitate to shoot. Myka had every reason to believe there was only one other person in that room with her and when she gave the warning to stop and saw that figure pull their gun, she fired. She had no one of knowing that person was Helena.

That's why Pete understood why Myka seemed frozen when he and Claudia found her. She had shot her partner and there was a lot of blood. Inches one way or the other and Myka could have killed her with that shot to the head. And she knew that – and that is what immobilized Myka. Pete understood it completely.

What he didn't understand was where did all these buttons stuck in- between the cushions of the couch come from?


	5. Helena's Mistake

**Chapter Five Helena's Mistake**

In all the discussions that Artie had with Mrs. Frederic and the Regents about this incident, it was hard for him to find any fault with Helena. In fact, each time he attempted to, it came back to his error in misdialing and getting her instead of Myka. From everything that was reported, Agent Wells did exactly what she was supposed to do. She left her assigned post only after Artie instructed her to tell Myka there were three, not two rooms. Once inside, she waited for Myka but could already hear the floor boards creaking from the weight of someone walking slowly. The end of the room where she stood was in total darkness. She pulled her gun out slowly and moved quietly further into the room. She did not realize Myka was already in the room waiting to hear in which direction the armed suspect was. She also did not realize she was walking directly into the line of fire when she was grazed by the bullet.

* * *

The pain was instant and Helena dropped her gun but instead of falling to the ground, she felt the warmth and softness of Myka's legs and arms under her and around her. Myka kept asking her if she was okay and she kept saying she was other than the intense pain in her head and the stuff that was coating her right eye. She kept hearing Myka said '_oh God, oh God_,' and wondered what was wrong but the blood loss was causing her to lose consciousness. She wanted to tell Myka to go but the words didn't seem to come out of her mouth. '_Oh God, oh God_,' seemed to fill the room and her head.

She woke up in the ambulance and immediately jumped up much to the chagrin of the unsuspecting EMT. He tried to push her back down but Helena was not to be deterred screaming for Myka and causing her vital signs to elevate. The young man called for help and the assistant in the front jumped into the rear of the ambulance. It took the two of them to pin her down and get authorization to send something to subdue her through the IV. Helena was a lot more compliant when she arrived in the ER minutes after Pete did. She was strapped to the gurney and the EMT's cautioned the ER staff about her. As soon as the drug wore off, Helena was up and out of the bed behind the curtain. The IV was pulled from her arm and she was on the search for Myka. But the sudden jump up caused her to be dizzy and she was on the floor before she knew it.

The medical staff did not like noncompliant patients and this time, Helena was placed under careful watch. Only one person could keep her in check and they knew it so when Doctor Calder was called in for Pete, she brought Gloria Brown with her. HG woke up to the sensation of not being able to move her wrists. She glared at the person next to her bed but was assured she had not done it. '_You know I would never do that to you, darlin'_, the middle aged woman assured her patient because she had a way of getting HG to do what she wanted without being physical. HG was glad to see her – as she always was – but she had one thing on her mind and that was to get to Myka. But the nurse already knew that. She assured HG that she was not helping the situation as she slowly undid the wrist bands. HG rubbed her wrists more out of insult than injury. She heard the familiar '_tsk, tsk, tsk_,' as the plump woman leaned over the rail and looked at the bandage of the agent's head. She reminded HG how lucky she was and HG would have dismissed it but she saw the worry in the woman's eyes. Her gentle touch only momentarily distracted Helena. The nurse assured HG that she knew what she wanted and would find out where and how Myka was but only if she stayed in the bed and rested. When HG hesitated to agree, the nurse reminded her that others would not take so kindly to her defiance. HG relented because she knew Gloria would get her the information she wanted. Moments later, she returned to say that Myka was okay and that she was on her way to the hospital. Helena told the nurse she had to be there to meet her to assure her she was ok. The nurse stared at Helena, knowing how difficult all of this must be for all of them. She finally released the side rail and helped HG up.

She told her she was leaving with Doctor Calder but would come back if she needed her. Later, when HG was in the room with Pete and they suggested Nurse Brown return, HG objected. She knew if the woman was around, she would never let Helena do anything. And Helena had to fix this someway – somehow.

Nurse Brown was no sooner out of the building when HG was in the room with Myka. She hugged her and assured her she was okay. Myka could hardly speak she was so shaken by the whole thing. More than anyone, HG knew that Myka's silence was not a good sign. It meant she was withdrawing and retreating to a place of self-punishment. Artie asked to speak to Myka alone and HG refused at first but Claudia practically pulled her away. She only agreed so she could go see Pete and assure Myka he was okay.

The next day, when they met with Artie and Mrs. Frederic, Myka remained quiet. She was ready to accept all the blame but HG wouldn't hear of it. She shouted that Myka was working under incorrect information. HG didn't need to defend Myka; Artie and Mrs. Frederic understood what happened. But HG was like a bull in a china shop and when they decided she wasn't helping, they sent her out of the room. They both closed their eyes and shook their heads when Helena slammed the door.

They had told Myka that what happened was an accident and Artie apologized for his harsh assessment. But Myka knew she was at fault here. She yelled for the suspect to stop and when she saw the light reflect off what she thought was his gun, she fired. There was no formal reprimand for her actions but they agreed that she and Agent Wells should not work on the next case or two until she went through further evaluation. Mrs. Frederic was concerned about the emotional impact this could have on Myka.

Helena knew that it was up to her to bring Myka around. She had decided to give her time and some space. When she went out into the backyard one day, HG's first instinct was to follow her. But she decided to wait inside for her. She was pleased Myka wanted to talk when she came in but when she told her that she thought they could no longer be lovers, Helena was blindsided. Surely Myka was over reacting. But when Myka had an answer for every one of HG's counter arguments, Helena became incensed. She had promised to stand by Myka through this ordeal but she could not let her tear them apart as her punishment. So Helena tried logic, discussion, rational thought and when none of those worked, she decided to bypass Myka's brain altogether. She could be very persuasive when she made her mind up.

Her actions were a complete surprise to Myka but they worked. Helena was the only one who would not stand by and allow Myka to inflict her own punishment. Everyone else respected Myka too much to interfere in that process but Helena understood what she was doing. She knew a great deal about self-punishment. She would not allow Myka to travel that dark road.

* * *

By the time Pete came home, Myka was slowly coming out of her reaction to all of this. She had apologized profusely to Helena but when she grew weary of hearing it, she just covered Myka's mouth with kisses. Pete would not have that luxury and after a while, he just told Myka to stop or he would have Helena take care of her. He meant it as a threat. He could not have been more wrong. But it eventually worked and Myka stopped apologizing.

With Myka and HG temporarily separated, Artie decided that HG should stay home with Pete while he recuperated. She came up from the basement one day and told him to turn the television on and try the clicker. Pete had complained that there was 'nothing on' in spite of the dozens of channels he had to choose from. Now, thanks to a little tinkering with the cable wires and the dish on the roof, Pete had access to every channel available. He was on the verge of getting carpal tunnel from pressing the remote so many times. _HG Wells really was a genius_ - he thought as he watched the Real Madrid soccer match live from Spain on channel 687.

Leena interrupted him to ask where HG was. Someone from the Federal Communications Commission was there to speak to the person who had hacked into the various cable providers' systems and she was pretty sure it was HG they wanted. It was Helena's first of only two mistakes. She charmed her way into a 48 hour leeway after explaining it was for a fellow agent hurt on the job. Pete couldn't have been more grateful and hugged HG when she explained the curfew to him. Then he remembered he had a question for HG. '_Are these yours_?' he asked showing her the buttons he found buried in the couch. She told him truthfully that the owner was Myka. When he wondered out loud how in fact all the buttons from the same blouse could wind up in the cushions, she told him that too. That was her second mistake. Under any other circumstances, he would have teased Myka but she was still a little vulnerable and that was a no-no for Pete. So HG got the brunt of his teasing.

She thought she would never hear the end to his various innuendos; '_let's button up this case, let's watch the Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons, don't press my buttons, don't press the panic button, that's a hot button issue'_.

She would choose her answers more carefully next time.


	6. Epilogue

Thank you to everyone who read along and posted comments/suggestions.  
I think this wraps it up but please let me know what you think.

* * *

**Mistakes Epilogue**

Mrs. Frederic sat at her desk with the files in front of her. This had been an ordeal for the entire Warehouse Team and now it was two months since the incident. She picked up the psychiatrist's report on Myka. It was mandatory that she attend six weeks of sessions because she used her weapon. Only now in the privacy of her own office could Mrs. Frederic smile when she saw that the doctor had recommended a mild tranquilizer. She asked him if he really thought Myka needed one and he replied that it wasn't for Myka but for the agent who accompanied her. Helena had driven Myka to each of these sessions and was downstairs when Myka shared that the first session was intense and made her uncomfortable. Sharing any feelings did this to Myka but Helena assumed the therapist had caused it. She excused herself when they got into the car and was back upstairs to meet with the doctor personally. He took great interest in this woman who stood before him with her hands on her hips, dark eyes and warning in her tone as she explained that he was there to help Myka not make things worse for her. He was actually quite happy about the visit because it gave him insight into the relationship when Myka did speak of it. Shortly after the third visit, he suggested the medication in his report to Mrs. Frederic.

It would seem that the person who was at no fault during the ordeal would make up for it in the aftermath.

The Sage had the most difficult time with Artie. He had been so caught up in everyone else that it took him some time to admit that he had been the source of the confusion. It made him doubt himself and it took Mrs. Frederic several talks before he could let go of the mistakes he had made. She won him over only when she pointed out that he couldn't ask Myka to do what he refused to do – forgive himself.

Pete made the recovery easy. He held no grudge, never hinted that it was anyone's fault. He chalked it up to the dangers of the job and for him, it was that simple. He wanted nothing more than for everyone to be okay and back to their usual selves. Secretly, Myka wished he would yell at her just so she could get at the guilt she was feeling but she knew he never would.

His full recovery was quick and Claudia was grateful for that because she too wanted everyone to move on. She sensed that Myka might be putting up a good front and relied on Helena to keep an eye on her.

The Regents reviewed the files and decided that the entire incident was an unfortunate accident due to misinformation. They did not feel a formal reprimand was needed and the case was closed after they took the usual precautions of Myka seeing an independent psychiatrist. For six weeks, she and HG made the trip to Sioux Falls and more often than not, Myka slept all the way home – exhausted from the exercise.

Each time Myka replayed what happened, it seemed to be clear in her mind. She followed the suspect in, the room was dimly lit, she drew her gun, ordered him to stop and then saw him aim his gun at her. She heard the click of his gun and she shot. Instantly, she knew she had not struck him and heard Helena call out. She was stunned that her partner was in the building let alone in between her and the gunman. She ran to HG and grabbed her as she was falling down. She could hardly see but she felt the warm blood on HG's head and felt it seep into her own clothes as she grabbed her to her chest. She asked Helena if she was okay but she knew she wasn't. Helena went lifeless in her arms. The blood flowed quickly and something happened to Myka that never happened before; she froze. She was motionless as the fear that she had killed Helena gripped every muscle. She knew she should put HG down gently and call for help. She knew she should go after the gunman and when she heard the gunshot and heard Pete yell out, she knew it was her fault. She could not see the expression on Claudia's face but she felt the shocked look – watching as Myka just sat there. Myka heard her voice say she had killed Helena but no one heard her.

The EMT's had to pry Helena out of her arms and assured her they would do everything they could. Finally there was some light in the room and the police reported later that they felt Agent Bering was suffering from shock. They were very close in their assessment. The official report from the respected psychiatrist was _sensation overload_. Myka had to deal with a great deal within seconds and while she was taking it all in, her _flight or fight_ response shut down. He assured her he had seen it many times in the best of agents. Myka was polite in her response but didn't care if he saw it in every agent he came across. That was of no comfort to her.

It was Myka's modus operandi to seem calm when her superiors were talking to her. She wanted to be held responsible because she knew she had failed. Artie assured her no one was going easy on her as she feared. _But why was no one punishing her? Couldn't they see how she had made this worse? Why did they refuse to mete out the punishment she was deserving of?_ She finally decided she had to do it on her own. And so within twenty four hours of the ordeal, she decided the worst possible thing for her. She would tell Helena that they could be partners and friends but that was it. She could think of no other alternative. In fact, once she decided on it, she went on lock down because she knew she had to be strong to face Helena.

She believed she was on the right track when she saw the look on Helena's face and her own heart broke in a million pieces. That was punishment she thought. But she didn't realize that she was also punishing Helena and she was not about to go down easy. Myka was ready for the first few attempts at confrontation but when Helena physically pinned her down and assaulted her senses, she was not prepared. Caught between wanting Helena more than anything and believing she didn't deserve her made her flinch and Helena never looked back. She was forceful, dominating her moves and her touches were rough. Myka kept thinking if HG would only shake her or physically hit her maybe she would get what she deserved. And for a moment, those black eyes welled with frustration and Myka thought it would happen. But Helena's movements took Myka swirling with excitement and Myka finally relinquished.

* * *

Mrs. Frederic closed the files and closed her eyes. Myka Bering was one of her best agents. She would not lose her again even temporarily as she had done once before. They would give Myka every ounce of support. She demanded this when she spoke to the Regents and left no room for anything else. They had their own demands; Myka was not to work with Agent Wells for a specified time. Mrs. Frederic agreed and shared this with Myka. She sensed that Myka was simply taking everything in and would not admit to what was really going on. So Mrs. Frederic did the one thing she could -she went to Agent Wells. She said she knew enough to know that Helena would watch out for Myka and be the only one right now who could reach her. '_Get to her, Agent Wells_,' is what the Keeper said and Helena knew she was asking, almost pleading. Helena would have done it without this request.

* * *

After all these weeks, Myka had finally decided that she would have to do what no one else would. Her plan was to withdraw – maybe leave the Warehouse again if she had to. She would reexamine if she had the right stuff. She was all set to make that journey into self-abasement when Helena announced different travel plans. She let Myka know that she alone understood what she was trying to do and she was not permitting it. HG explained she would not let Myka get away with not learning something from this trial. Myka rebelled and shouted that she was learning but Helena quietly rebuked that notion. Myka was furious – how could Helena question that she didn't want to take ownership of this? HG had hit the nerve – with a hammer – and Myka was animated with anger.

In that short time, Helena opened the way for Myka to express what six sessions of therapy had not come close to; how very sorry she was for hurting the people she loved and how scared she was that she had lost Helena. She had said those words to the psychiatrist and to everyone else. But the deep feelings behind those words never rose above the surface. She reported her feelings, she hadn't experienced them.

Myka's anger rang off the walls of the bedroom that night and Helena allowed her to exhaust herself –after which she collapsed into Helena's arms and sobbed. Their fellow agents feared it was a step backwards for Myka.

Only Helena knew that it was the first real step in Myka's healing. And Helena would be there every step of the way for her.

* * *

Thank you to Ariel Hedgehog who presented me with the challenge to get away from the pattern of my other stories.  
It has made me think and stretch as a write and I thank her to doing that.  
And to all of you who commented back - even after I warned you this may not go well - lol - thank you for coming along.  
If I have left anything unanswered in this last chapter, I hope you will take the time to tell me.


End file.
